I long for the day when you will be gone.
Gone in your entirety.
No lingering smell.
No memories of possibilities not chosen.
Death wouldn’t be enough.
Perhaps, if I knew God better than I do now, I would long for better things.
I would long to reconcile my heart and place myself in your shoes and understand your reasons.
I would long for the ability to forgive.
I would long for scars to heal without a seam.
I would long for the blood boiling fury of your claim on me to hold no power, only peace.
I would long for acceptance.
Instead of attempts at trying to erase the trace of you, suffocating me, I chose to live instead.
Living is what I chose.